For the past few months I have been studying love. Yes, what love is for our society, how does it look like inside our brains, how pop culture has shaped our view of love, what movies have most influenced us when it comes to this subjetc, etc. One thing has shocked me a lot, we do not know why we do the things we do. Confessions, by Saint Augustine, is a good example of someone who knem himself. How many of us can answer the simplest (yet most complicated) questions of life? I remember sitting down in my History of Ideas I class and hearing dr. Quinn asking us “is the number 2 real?” I have never thought about this! How is this important? Well, if it exist, how does it? Is it necessary? Can I think of a possible world without the number two? If it is necessary, how can God have created it?
Well, before jumping into platonic philosophy, let’s go back to our subject. Do you love someone? That pretty girl from school, beautiful hair, soft voice, incredible talented, loves the same TV shows you do, listens to the same bands you do, and has a crush on you. Remember her now? What about that boy? 6-pack on point, tons of products in his hair, V-shape, expensive clothes, and that smile (don’t tell me about the smile). Remember him? Well, let’s suppose you want to commit to him/her. Why would you wanna do that? I mean, after Jesus explained some things about marriage the disciples concluded it would be better not to marry at all (Matthew 19:10). God, through Paul, says that if you want to serve Him better you should not marry (1 Corinthians 7:8). So what is your reason to get married? “wow, wow, wow! Slow down Natan! I’m not talking about getting married, I just wanna date.” Scripture is nowere close to recommend recreational dating, or as my friend would say, Scripture does not support using someone to fill the “girlfriend void” up. So I assume you want to date because you wanna put a ring on her finger.
You love her right? What does that mean? It means you have a subjective feeling that might indicate that you like her. Ok, but what does that mean? Have you ever stopped to think about that? Well I have, that’s why I have started my book (I hope to release it in the fall of 2017, God willing). Ask anyone why they want to marry their loved one and the answer will probably be something like: “Well she is simply amazing! The most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life! We love to talk about the same things, and we also have the same hobbies!” If this is what you have in mind, I would strongly recommend that you run away from that relationship brother. This simply means you are marrying her to make you happy because you think you guys are a “match.” Why would you marry someone based on what they might have to offer you? Isn’t that selfish? In part, it is.
Getting married because of love is a terrible idea. What is love if not the feeling that the other provokes on us? They spoil us, so we love them. They look as great as that girl from the magazine, so I love her. She makes me horny, so I love her (sorry to be raw, believe me, your kids know what this means). We only love because we are spoiled! Love for us is nothing, it has no meaning! It is an abstract force that hits us and we can do no other! Joe used to love Mary but as soon as he saw Joanna he fell in love for lil Jojo, is this story familiar to you? How many divorced couples can sign under this ridiculous idea?
The fact is that we do not know what “love” means or is. We do not know love. This has got to change! And I am dedicating myself to help people understand what love is. I do not want to see you broken and divorced a few years from now. “We fight a lot but we love each other” is an oxymoron, I do not want that for you. I do not want weak girls that fall for any douche with a 6-pack and soft words, nor a bunch of young guys full of hormones that can’t distinguish love that leads to marriage from love that leads to brotherly community! Although my time is limited, I want to help you, so you can expect to read more about this subject. If you intend to get married in the future follow this blog. We will explore love as it ought to be explored: in God.
To be continued…